One evening after work, when I was at BMP, I was chatting to Dave Batterbee, the MD. He said, “If people in advertising were footballers, who would they be?”

I asked him to give me an example. He said, “Well John Webster would certainly be Stanley Mathews: he picks up the ball well inside his own area, dribbles it past everyone on the other team, and scores. He’s a one man team, a complete footballing genius.”

I agreed, but suggested Maradonna, Cruyff or Best. Dave said, “They’re brilliant no doubt. But Maradonna depends more on power, Cruyff is technical but cold, and Best too petulant. No, you’ve got to say Mathews for sheer artistry.” Then he asked me who I thought I would be.

I said, “Billy Bonds.”  Dave said, “But he’s just a clogger.”  I said, “How can you say that? He’s tough, no-nonsense, energetic, and reliable.” Dave said, “I see you more as Johnny Giles, capable of putting in the long diagonal pass that splits defences.”

I didn’t agree but, cold refreshments having been taken, the conversation went along in that vein. Remembering that conversation often makes me think that football’s not a bad analogy for what we do. If we assume the agency is a team, crudely speaking how would that look?

Well I’d start with the goalkeeper. He has to be able to read the game. Steve Harrison was a planner at BMP and he used to play in goal. He once told me that Mervyn Day, despite being the crowd’s favourite, was a bad goalkeeper. I said, “How can you say that, he makes some fantastic saves?”

Steve said, “That’s how you know he’s a bad goalkeeper: he has to dive for the ball because he’s out of position. If he was a great goalie like Gordon Banks, he’d read the play and be where the ball is coming.” What a useful insight. That reminded me of what Mike Greenlees (the CEO of GGT) always used to call his account-man’s antenna.

A sort of sixth sense that tingled and kept him aware of what the client was thinking and feeling, almost before the client knew himself. Central defenders have to be able to read the play too. Bobby Moore wasn’t a natural footballer, but he became the best in the country because of one piece of advice.

He was told, “When you’re on the pitch, for the entire 90 minutes, always be thinking, ‘If I get the ball now, what will I do with it?”. That kept him totally aware of how play was developing. Amanda Walsh (CEO of WTCS) always used to worry and try to spot if anything was wrong on an account before it became obvious to anyone else. So chief-execs are the defence, because of their ability to read play and break down attacks.

Tony Adams (captain of Arsenal’s double-winning team) said he’d never try to take the ball off an opponent. “If I do that I’m committed and, if I miss, he can just go past me. No, I just shut him down so he has to shoot from about thirty yards out.

David Seamen (the goalie) can handle anything from that distance.” That’s chief exec thinking. If CEOs are the defence, account men are the midfield. The engine room of the team. It’s their job to do all the running, soak up the pressure, lay on an attack, supply the balls for the forwards.

They are the crowd pleasers, using what Paul Bainsfair used to refer to as their “ball tickling skills”. The planners are the wingers. Think Trevor Brooking, Theo Walcott, Aaron Lennon. A fast winger can take the ball past all the opposition, behind their defence, and cross it for the forwards to shoot.

The forwards of course are the creatives. For me, the creative director is the old fashioned centre forward, the target man. He brings the ball down, traps it, and lays of off to one of the nippy little strikers.

But that’s not his only job, if he’s in position he can score too. Bobby Robson once told Alan Shearer, “You’re playing too much with your back to goal. You’re job isn’t just about holding the ball up, you’ve got to have a go as well.” So that’s the basic analogy for me. Then you can look at the different formations the different agencies play. Some play the really boring long ball game. Some play a really attractive passing game. Personally, the best agencies I’ve ever worked at played more like the Dutch ‘total football’ concept. 

Everyone had his or her own area of responsibility, but everyone could score. The opposition never knew where the goal was coming from. In our terms, “A good idea doesn’t care who had it.”